I have come to the conclusion that using my thoughts as canon no longer works (more members than I anticipated), so I will begin listing canonical facts here.




Basic Story

(In your head, imagine a wise-sounding old man narrator dude, like Gandalf or something, reading this)

Before time began, there was a race of perfect beings, now known only as the Ancient Ones. They lived timelessly in all 10 dimensions (look up the string theory if you're confused), and were omnipotent. The Ancient Ones existed this way for entire eternities, when they finally became restless. They commited ritual suicide just as the last of their race was born, so that he might have a physical form. This caused three things: The birth of the Total Immortal, the initiation of time, and the creation of a seperate dimension called the Abyss.

These three events each were of unfathomable importance in their own right. The Total Immortal would become one of, if not THE most influential character in history. Time was important for obvious reasons, such as allowing new races to come into existence. The Abyss, however, lacked an immediate effect, and would not do anything of consequence until the elves took the world for the first time.

In their Golden Age, the elves spent their long years observing the world around them, especially anomalies that they could find no explanation for. After millenia of research, they came to the conclusion that there was a force of pure energy in the world, which they came to call "magick". The elves found that certain members of their race could control magic, mostly through incantations or bizarre rituals. What they did not know was that the Abyss was the source of this pure, untainted power.

The elves were oblivious to the consequences of their curiousity, and at the peak of their success all elves, including children, were capable of using magick. Rather than restrict their arcane abilities, they used them openly, casually even, all the while polluting the Abyss with their thoughts and emotions.

Finally, the Total Immortal became aware of the elves' tampering, and he swiftly sought audience with the High Elven Council. He warned them, and even made the elves aware of the repercussions of magick use, but he was too late. Their race had become dependant on the power.

Worried, the Total Immortal created laylines to better protect the Abyss from taint, and forced the elves to stay within their forest-cities, which he would create magick-nullifiers around. Although still concerned, he left the elves to their own devices as he went on to aid the rest of the land.

Meanwhile, the elves began to experiment with power once more, carving huge arcane runes on the ground which the laylines crossed over. This allowed them to fully immerse themselves in the laylines, and, in effect, the Abyss.

(It is important to note that the Abyss cannot hold matter, only energy)

One of these elves succeeded in converting himself into energy. His name was Noruas, and for twelve years he focused on creating a spell that would allow him to shift between a material and immaterial form. When he finally discovered a plausible method, he attempted to become one with the Abyss by falling into a layline. He was successful, but what he would find would change him.

The Abyss had been completely corrupted by the elves, tainted with their selfishness and arrogance. Noruas found himself in the middle of this twisted mess, and though a small part of him screamed to escape, he embraced it, attempting to tame the unbound power. He quickly realized he had fucked himself over.

Noruas began to experience rage, self-hate, and sorrow beyond imagination, his emotions both feeding and being amplified by the Abyss simultaneously. It was a cycle of negativity that could only end if he escaped, but to do that he would need to find a layline current.

Or would he?

In hopes of breaking the cycle, Noruas focused on one thing in his mind: women. This released a surge of sexuality into the Abyss, contorting it further. Seeing what he could do, the elf then focused on happiness, then hatred, then boredom, and any other emotion he could think of. Once he finished that, he began to focus on random objects. Chairs, trees, water, parchment, grapefruits; anything.

Now, during this time, the elves had realized what Noruas had done, and cursed his stupidity. They began building an arcane ampitheater that would allow them to summon him back. In theory. Possibly. Anyway, they built the ampitheater and each took their spot. Then they cast a spell that would fetch the retard out of the Abyss.

Of course, Noruas had been one of the most intelligent of the elves, and he was now considered a retard. That meant most of the rest of the elves were sub-retard, so the odds of their spell succeeding were stupidly low. Also note, the arcane ampitheater made no sense whatsoever, the elves just thought it would help. Typical.

The elves continued wiht their spell, which they didn't think through very well since its purpose was to literally rip Noruas out of the Abyss in the same way you'd rip out someone's organ, and it would leave a gaping whole from the Abyss into real-space. Before that day, this would have merely charged the world with energy and possibly created new species or something. But because Noruas was within the Abyss thinking of things such as grapefruits, licorice, dolphins, Swedish women, and Genesis 19:8, it released a surge of uncensored, and stupid, random energy.

Then the weird shit started.

The fabric of reality was torn, stitched, ripped, and patched. The spickledums came into existence, along with energies that ripped open the time vortex. The Total Immortal quickly flew to the elves, in hopes of reversing their mistake, but it was too late. The Abyssal Maw had been formed. The entire Elven Kingdom was consumed by it, and the elves who had survived were broken, crippled beyond healing and insane. Sealing off the Abyss was all the Total Immortal could do, but the damage had been done. Totalawesomeland would never be the same.

Deeming the common races to be unfit for self-rule, the Total Immortal founded the Court of Admins, and dubbed himself Commander Supreme.

And thattttt brings us to now :D

Summarized Story

  • credit for this section goes to Thissecretninja*

Okay, so back before time started, there were these god-things called Ancient Ones. They existed for eternities before getting bored. Rather than finding something to do, they killed themselves like any bored ass motherfucker would, and created the Total Immortal, time, and the Abyss, which is basically like a huge dimension-sized magic-battery.

Anyway, after time got started, a bunch of lil fuckers started running around Totalawesomeland, like the dwarves, elves, and humans. The elves, in typical fantasy-universe fashion, took over the world and started fucking around with magic, since they realized they could borrow energy from the Abyss. This is pretty cool for the elves, but not too cool for the Abyss, which was like an emotional virgin and the elves were shoving a cock of emotion up its ass.

Some dumbass elf named Noruas decided he wanted to go into the Abyss to try and become like a god or some shit I don't even know, and he gets stuck inside. Well, he realizes he can flood the Abyss with his emotion and thoughts, so he starts thinking up a bunch of random shit like grapefruits and babes. Then the elves in Totalawesomeland try to pull him out, fuck up the spell, and unleash the perverted energy on the world, fucking up everything. This starts a bunch of weird shit, so the Total Immortal founds the Court of Admins. And thats pretty much it so far.

Facts that are not to be conflicted

  1. The Elves will NOT rebuild their Empire.
  2. The Dwarves hide inside mountains and don't come out. Only Feral Dwarves are exempt from this. For they are Feral.
  3. There is only one nation and it is ruled by the Court of Admins. There may be ONE resistence nation, but that is yet to be decided.
  4. The Human Populace of Totalawesomeland is 500 million. There can be no organisation, bar the Court of Admins, with followers that number above 5% of the human population
  5. There is only one direct enemy of the Canon. And that is Canon Breaker. Any other Anti-Canon articles will be deemed bullshit.
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